Looking Back

I should take my own advice.
Reading some of my older posts help put my mind at rest. It helps me think clearly. It's ironic how the past has played a part in my current life. It's been a burden but a comfort, all the same. The situations are all different. Some of them are even the exact opposite. But the lessons learned are similar.

I've been so disappointed in myself lately. I feel like I have no self-control. I'm not quite sure what to do anymore. How do you break an old habit? I need to change, or it'll lead to my self-destruction.

I'm just a selfish person, I guess. I was raised to be independent, greedy, and cut-throat. Born to do Business. In the end, it's all about me and my success. My confidence has always been one of my stronger characteristics. My way of thinking has always been, "If you don't like me or what I do, that's your loss." Never in my life have I had to put aside my pride for another. This way, I don't get hurt often.
But I'm older now. I'm different.

I've grown somwhat dependant on others for a happiness that I can not provide on my own. I've grown to care for others and their success in the same way I care for mine. I feel a risk on others allows others to take the same risk on me. And in the end, we'll all be a little closer and a little happier. Or a lot happier.

And it's so like me to just mess it all up.